“A Jew for All Seasons” was the name of a play put on by the ladies Achdus group of our community in the 1980s. If someone is interested in seeing it (women only, please) please contact me.

But today I am talking about the Sefira. 

The Minhag not to shave, cut hair, or listen to music in the Sefira is observed as a remembrance of the loss of the 24,000 students of Rabi Akiva in the third century. As such, it is a form of mourning (see an earlier blog post about this point here). 

It has become almost ubiquitous in America to observe the “first” Sefirah. In Israel it is already the de facto Minhag, and they refrain from weddings after Lag Ba’Omer as well- until Chodesh Sivan. But one of my students was surprised that the Rema’s Sefirah Minhag (Rosh Chodesh Iyar until early Sivan) is not given precedence by Ashkenazi Americans over the Beis Yoseif’s.

I am aware that some people who are in the workplace among non-Jews need the first Minhag so that they can grow a beard over the Pesach vacation and return to work with a beard as opposed to stubble. Others might have chosen the first Minhag since Pesach already precludes shaving and allows music, and this removes a whole week of Sefirah and ends it earlier. Oka-a-a-y.  

But I want to point out that the idea of waiting for Sefirah until a time that the festivities of Pesach have fully passed makes a lot of sense and avoids the seeming contradiction. (Although the Rema’s minhag does have Sefirah observance on Rosh Chodesh…so there is some overlap of Aveilus and Simcha in this Minhag as well.) Interestingly, the Ezras Torah calendar calls for Av Horachamim to be said this past Shabbos, despite the no-Tachanun rule of Nissan and the Mevorchim Hachodesh of Iyar because “it is Sefirah”. 

Therefore, there is a good argument for American Ashkenazi Jews to cling to the Rema’s Minhag. (Elsewhere I have discussed our local Minhag.)

Our Halachos are meant to “dictate” our behavior-  and also guide our emotions and thoughts. Sefira calls for refraining from song and haircuts and therefore should remind us that this was once a time of great sadness. While listening to acapella Jewish music seems to have become popular, wouldn’t it be appropriate to “swallow the pill” and engage in the relevant mood?

Another “breach” in the minhag has become increasingly popular with events to mark Lag Ba’omer on the night of the 33rd, where Halachah would dictate that we wait until the morning of Lag before relaxing the Halachos of Sefira. I opened the popular “Dirshu” Mishnah Berurah and found that they had no support for this, other than that the respect for Rabi Shimon Bar Yochai is considered a Mitzvah. One cannot draw support from the festivities at Meron because many of the adherents of Chasidus are keeping the entire 49 days as mourning, they therefore are not relying on the partial day of Lag Be’Omer. Of course, if one follows a Rov with Kabalistic or Chassidic leanings this is fine. It is for us to remember (I wrote about this last year here.)that we have to follow our Poskim just the same. (One could wonder if an adherent to the local KAJ Minhag would need to wait until Lag Be’Omer morning – meaning, is it part of the 33 days?)